Give It to the Lord and Let Him Guard Your Heart

It is natural to want to defend ourselves when someone does us an injustice. We want to clear the air and tell our side of the story in hopes of restoring the relationship. Thinking we can handle it ourselves instead of giving it to the Lord can cause even greater resentment. Here’s a situation where God taught me how to lay down my concerns so that He could guard my heart.

I was invited to attend a celebration for a friend who had recently gone through a pretty devastating divorce. She and her husband attended the same church as me throughout the years, and we had all remained friends. We had not spoken for a while, and I was surprised and saddened to discover they had divorced. When I noticed who all would be attending this celebration of my friend’s new life, God spoke to my heart. Sensing this gathering was not for me, I said, “Okay, Lord. I will not be a part of that. I know what that could be like.” 

Several weeks passed, and I noticed that I was no longer receiving regular Facebook postings from my friend. Wondering about the cause, I visited her Facebook page and saw that she had unfriended me. Relatively ignorant of the way social media works, I was not overly concerned, thinking it was probably a mistake. Unfortunately, there was no mistake! When I saw her walk by at another church event, she turned her head in a blatant attempt to avoid any conversation. I had a feeling the reason had something to do with the earlier celebration, and, as I said before, I naturally wanted to clear up the misunderstanding.

I prayed that God would show me the problem so I could make it right, and that’s when he gave me this dream. In my dream, my friend was walking by when I stopped her and said, “Hey, I saw that you took me off your Facebook. I just wanted to talk to you about that.” 

On my left was this other woman staring at me. I recognized her as a friend I had employed four or five years ago. We had a working friendship, but her gossiping tongue severed the relationship. Her negative attitude and poor behavior had caused her embarrassment and made it impossible for her to continue her employment. It was, I’m sure, a financial blow for her to be without a job for a while, and it was a heartfelt separation for me to lose a good worker and a lady I considered to be a friend. I wanted to go to her at the time, but God checked me. I realized God was trying to teach her to bridle her tongue. I also knew, in my dream, that she had something to do with putting a distance between my friend and me. Apparently, God was still working with her, but she had not yet learned that you reap what you sow. 

When I asked my friend in the dream to share with me what had happened, she said, “Well, you hit me in my pocket.”

“What?” I said.

“You hit me in my pocket,” she repeated, placing her hand over her pocket.

I looked to the left, and there stood this other woman who had caused so much turmoil in the past. Knowing the woman’s tongue had put a wedge between my friend and me, I turned to her and said, “That is not true. You have completely added to the story. This continued gossiping lets me know there is nothing between you and me. It is over between us.” Where I once held out hope that someday we could be friends, I now understood that would not happen. The woman had taken my trust and now tried to destroy my character, and I finally realized only God could heal that relationship.  

Unfortunately, this type of thing happens all too frequently in the church. People have misunderstandings, fall out of favor with one another, spread gossip, and before you know it, there is division in the body of Christ. I knew in my heart that God was delivering a message to me in this dream. It was bigger than just my friend and me than the lady who worked for me. God was trying to show me how much our wagging tongues open the door for Satan to come into our lives to destroy and devour. Gossip is one of the enemy’s favorite strategies, used to divide and conquer believers. 

I know my friend was in a dark place, hurting from her recent divorce, or she would never have seen the situation that way. Words can be powerful weapons, and we must be careful how we wield them. If my friend had known the truth, the whole story, and the other person’s part in leaving her position and experiencing financial loss, she would have prayed for this woman instead of siding with her. Until my friend gives this to the Lord, until she and this other woman break the negative spirit that binds them together, they are destined to repeat this same scenario in other relationships. It will eventually give the enemy such a foothold in their lives that it could completely separate them from God. 

I believe that’s why God wanted me to share this dream. We, as believers, don’t have a right to say and do whatever pleases us. We don’t have a right to cause division in the body. There is no place in the body of Christ for self-righteousness. If you have wronged someone, pray that God will create an opportunity to make it right. Don’t try to rush the process—pray first. Let God prepare the way so you can be assured that your words will be acceptable, and the other person will be receptive. 

Many Christians, even pastors, will tell you to go to that person and ask forgiveness, even if you don’t feel like you did anything wrong. Beware, though! God might not want you to connect with that person again. By forcing the issue, you might be opening yourself up to another attack. If God severed that relationship, I can guarantee that He had good reason to do so. So, when you are having challenges in a relationship or friendship, give it to the Lord and let Him guard your heart.

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